I hate this time of year.
Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years and then your birthdays in January.
I wish I could fast forward to Spring. If our relationship was strong I might love this time of year because we could FaceTime, I could send gifts, and then spoil you for your birthdays.
But instead we’re not talking. We haven’t talked since September – two months ago when I flew to North Carolina to spend four hours with you guys.
We shopped, ate lunch in the food court, and then ended the day with Starbucks in Mars Hill. When I watched you guys drive away with Mama and Bubby I sat in my car and cried.
I hoped the short visit in September would start to mend our relationship, but I’m not sure it has. I’ve sent numerous texts to you guys but you haven’t responded. Not one response. Ugh that hurts my heart.
Today I’m in self-preservation mode. It’s easier for me to not text you guys because it hurts too much when you don’t respond.
I think about you guys often. When I wake in the mornings you’re both the first thing I think of while I’m laying in bed. I think about you guys a whole bunch of times each day.
I think about you every time I see the clock strike 11:11.
I hope you’re both happy and healthy.
11:11:25 is the last time I texted you guys.